Reasons I love My Mother-in-Law - Part Eight

I am not a crier. Don't get me wrong, I am not morally opposed to crying, I just am more of the bottle-it-all-up or bitch-and-complain-about-it type.

So for my husband to call home to find me balling my eyes, was, well, rather off-putting to him.

See, as you may recall my MIL has a charming habit of just stopping by. She did this often in the early days of my maternity leave (before she realized she doesn't like babies). One time when my daughter was about 4 months old she barged in to find us napping on the couch together.

She then proceeded to freak out, wake up the baby and shower me with (ahem) useful advice.

• And I quote "What are you doing? Don't let the baby sleep on you! She will get used to your heartbeat and never want to sleep without you!" Note: not that the 41 weeks in utero would have made her at all used to my heartbeat.
• "When she gets colicy, give her boiling water in a bottle." Note: she was never once colicy, and I am not sure scalding water would make a kid stop crying.
• "Here is a book written by the Pet Psychic with diets you should give the dog. She is very wise and you should do this or the dog will get cancer." Note: It was the same diet that she fed to our dog giving her severe pancreatitis.

It was the Pet Psychic diet that sent me over the end.