Worth a thousand words

The MIL is currently not speaking to us because, when showing her pictures of my BFFs new baby, she saw a photo of my daughter in a pose similar to this*:

* Note: a stock image has been used

This is apparently horrible, ugly, rude, and we should teach our child better. She blames TV, and the kinds of people we let our child be around.

Clearly we have failed as parents and will be putting our kid up for adoption soon as possible.

Summer 2011 Inventory

• Number of times we have come home to a not hungry dog - 6
• Number of plants in our garden that have since been dug up or replaced (not by us) - 3
• Length of our last visit - 1 hour
• Length of time spent at the pool during out last visit - 50 minutes
• Length of time my MIL spent with us at their pool during out last visit - 0 minutes
• Number of sentences my MIL spoke in English during our last visit - 4
• Number of English sentences related to my daughters eating habits during out last visit - 4

...and it's only July....

Things to do

This is the kiddo's calendar for May.

It is a pretty typical example of her social life. Chock-a-block with play dates, birthday parties and family outings.

She is a social butterfly.

My MIL was over on the long weekend... 90% of what she said was in Polish but I did catch the comments about how it is so sad that the Kiddo is an only child. She is so lonely. We are cruel for only having one child.

Note: We can't have more kids and she knows this

Note: My husband is an only child

This kinda makes me sad...

While my relationship with my MIL is turbulent at best, I do want her to have a good (or even great) relationship with my daughter.

I have such amazing memories of my own grandparents and I want that for her too.

We had the in laws babysit a few weeks back (and yes, I know what you are thinking) and the results frankly make me sad.

We came home to find my FIL in the kiddo's room wearing a feather boa and having a tea party. Amazing.

The kiddo went on and on about what a great time they had and all the fun things they had done.

When asked, 'what did you and Grandma do?' The kiddo replied 'She took the dog for a walk and watched TV.'

Sad.

For those of you keeping score

No, we haven't spoken to them and yes, the FIL sent the Kiddo an Easter card and the Hubz a Birthday card.

No, we haven't open either and yes, the curiosity is killing me.

Reasons I love My Mother-in-Law - Part Eight

I am not a crier. Don't get me wrong, I am not morally opposed to crying, I just am more of the bottle-it-all-up or bitch-and-complain-about-it type.

So for my husband to call home to find me balling my eyes, was, well, rather off-putting to him.

See, as you may recall my MIL has a charming habit of just stopping by. She did this often in the early days of my maternity leave (before she realized she doesn't like babies). One time when my daughter was about 4 months old she barged in to find us napping on the couch together.

She then proceeded to freak out, wake up the baby and shower me with (ahem) useful advice.

• And I quote "What are you doing? Don't let the baby sleep on you! She will get used to your heartbeat and never want to sleep without you!" Note: not that the 41 weeks in utero would have made her at all used to my heartbeat.
• "When she gets colicy, give her boiling water in a bottle." Note: she was never once colicy, and I am not sure scalding water would make a kid stop crying.
• "Here is a book written by the Pet Psychic with diets you should give the dog. She is very wise and you should do this or the dog will get cancer." Note: It was the same diet that she fed to our dog giving her severe pancreatitis.

It was the Pet Psychic diet that sent me over the end.

Reasons I love My Mother-in-Law - Part Six

For the first month of my daughter Zoë's life, my MIL called her Zoya.

She liked it better.